lately i've been feeling

as if i'm just existing. i was reading that the bible is not a theological book, it's a missional book. it was never meant to be studied, it was meant to be lived out. that is why the story of the first century church is called "ACTS" not "TRUTHS". i always thought i was a pretty mature Christian due to all of the wonderful knowledge i had about the bible. i mean i can spout it off. but i was just convicted this week that i'm not really a doer of the word. oh, i love the people at my church, and i'm a joyful person at my job, but here i am angry about the plight of the poor, but i'm not leaving my safe suburban place to do anything about it. i've always considered myself a leader, but leaders affect change. i've been sitting about letting change affect me.

in the book of Zechariah, God says, "When I called, they did not listen; so when they called I did not listen. I scattered them with a whirlwind among all the nations, where they were strangers."

McManus says it like this.
"if we are unwilling to move with the wind of God, we will be moved by the whirlwind of God. One type of movement is a journey into God's future; another uproots us from all the securities we refuse to relinquish."

so basically when God moves you, all you have left is Him. it almost makes me wish the hurricane had made a direct hit on my house. houses and possessions aren't important to God, people are.

"God is continurally inviting us to believe that His future is better than any past we have experienced with Him. Can you believe that the glory of this present moment can be greater than the glory of your best memory? For too long the church has longed for the 'good ol days', has hoped that the future would simply be a detour to the past. This has never been God's promise, and it is not God's desire for us. He wants to shake heaven and earth, and shake us loose from all that holds us back from entering His future. This future cannnot be experienced without embracing and experiencing change." Erwin McManus.

i'm pretty much on this erwin kick right now this book is consuming me, as a read, my question becomes how do i apply this. the things in my heart, the longing to be a trailblazer. the longing to do something fresh and different. the catch phrase for hurricane rita was "hunker down". the catch phrase for everyone returning was "business as usual". i think we should neither "hunker down" nor return to "business as usual." God desires to shake us up to see what He is doing. sometimes it takes a hurricane to remove the stuff that hinders us. maybe the real people who got a blessing were the ones who lost everything.

have a great weekend
chuck

i have a cool story

so on sunday mornings, i usually go up the office around 6:45 to put the rest of the service into the computer. this past week i had sent the computer home with one of our tech team so he could clean it up some. we had talked on the phone, and he was going to bring it by on saturday afternoon when our pastor was at the office. so when i get there, there is no computer. he had gotten sidetracked and missed the pastor. so i've got nothing to do, so i think to myself, "i'll do some reading". in my office there are a great deal of books. i've looked over them many times, but yesterday one stuck out to me so i picked it up. i sat down and began to read. my tech guy called and said he was bringing the computer to me, so that problem was solved, but i couldn't put this book down. how had i not seen or even been interested in this book before. it was speaking to me right where my heart was. i had even heard of the author before. jetter had mentioned him on his blog. i sat there as art came with the computer and i had read the 1st 3 chapters of this book. so if you are interested at all, go and pick up Erwin McManus' "An Unstoppable Force" i haven't finished it, but the first 4 chapters are worth picking it up. so in typical chuckazooloo style, here are a few excerpts from the book.

Over the past 40 years the communities around many churches have changed dramatically, yet the church has stayed the same. Somewhere in the community's transformation, the church disconnected. And since the transition began incrementally, the local congregation was either unaware or unconcerned. The church must accimilate to a changing world, or she will destine herself to irrelevence or even extinction.

The biting truth is that this country is not rejecting spirituality, but Christianity.

Is it possible that it wasn't the nation that was becoming dangerously secular, but the church?

The crisis did not begin when prayer was removed from public schools but when we stopped praying.

With each culture shift, it is painfully obvious that the church has become an institution rather than a movement. The distinction lies in the fact that institutions preserve culture, while movements create culture.

How could we ever think that the Christian faith would be safe when it's central metaphor is an instrument of death? It is not a coincidence that baptism is a water grave depicting the death and resurrection. It is no less significant that the on going ordinance of the Lord's Supper is a reminder of sacrifice. How did we ever develop a safe theology from such a dangerous faith.

mere snippets of the wisdom in this book. i'm hooked. throw me some more Erwin McManus.

have a great day
chuck

found this on switchfoots website, and couldn't pass it up.

In 1991, when Rolling Stone interviewed Dylan on the occasion of his 50th birthday, he gave a curious response when the interviewer asked him if he was happy. He fell silent for a few moments and stared at his hands. 'You know,' he said, 'these are yuppie words, happiness and unhappiness. It's not happiness or unhappiness, it's either blessed or unblessed.'

This record was written somewhere between the blessed and the unblessed, between the godly and the ungodly by a few young urban professionals from San Diego. These songs are dreams and questions, bleeding together, breathing in and out- always somewhere between life and death. And I feel this tension, this distance now more than ever, like a numbing ache... deep inside. The distance between the way things are and the way they could be, the distance between the shadow and the sun. And this is where we exist: within the paradox. Living out our lives: oxygen and carbon and hydrogen and so on...

This record was the attempt to make something beautiful in filthy backstage dressing rooms everywhere, trying to sing something true with a broken heart. This record was written about things that I don't understand. And yes, there's more than a wink of irony in all of this: making music from our most intimate thoughts and selling these songs online for a dollar a pop. Singing an anthem every night about how "we were meant to live for so much more" and many times feeling like a failure; singing "I dare you to move"and feeling trapped. Both loving and hating all the fuss that the music has brought. Knowing that even Rock and Roll, perhaps the best job in the world will not make me happy (in the yuppie sense of the word). And yes, this American life is absurd! a strange paradox indeed...

Perhaps no amount of money, sex, or power has ever satisfied us before, but maybe today will be different! Maybe this new purchase will make me happy! And the sun rises and sets once more- another day, another dollar. A carbonated beverage will help to chase your insecurities away. This new product will help to fill the meaningless void I feel inside. And so I drink the beverage, wear the clothes, and watch the war on TV. meaningless. meaning less. Do we hunt our ridiculous suburban dreams like the neighborhood cat? Have we quietly fallen in line with the advertisement? Are we driven by ego uncontrolled, our lives simply vain pursuits of meaningless ends? Do we attempt to validate our existence by materiel means, relational acquisitions, sexual conquests, fiscal achievement, and cultural prowess? It was another jewish man who said something like this a while back.

"All is meaningless," Declares the teacher. "Meaningless, meaningless, Everything is meaningless"

For me, there is a terrible, wonderful freedom in coming to terms with these un-happy, un-yuppie words. It's a strange consolation in our dizzy and breathless race for happiness to find that you will never outrun the horizon. It's an avalanche you can't escape. It's a fatal wound that you cannot heal. If you fall on this rock you will be broken, if it falls on you you will be crushed. You see, this album started with a blow between the eyes that I am still recovering from, that's really all I've got to offer these days. So in the half-light glow of radio shows, music videos, and greedy billboard charts I am aware of a darkness that is beyond me, I am coming to terms with my unbelief. No, I don't believe in rock and roll. No, I don't believe in the success that we've achieved. And no, I don't believe in me. In a free market world of the bought and sold I feel caught in between. I believe I've heard about a man who was exploited to sell everything from indulgences to the wars of men. And yet he offered only one bitter pill that was not easily marketed. Maybe that's what this record hopes to be: a simple bitter pill of truth that steps outside of our hamster wheel and looks up at the stars and beyond.

Maybe Dylan was right when he said Rock and Roll isn't Rock and Roll anymore. I've met so many lonely, desperate, beautiful people over the past few years. Yeah, I've got a bitter pill to swallow, but it just might be true. Maybe our lives drift quietly by and we can't stop the current. Maybe this modern river leads to the sea of death, where no medicine can cure these ills. Perhaps our restless wanting is satisfied only outside of ourselves.

It was another jewish man who said something like this, "If you seek to gain your soul you will lose it." I am on a journey that will one day come to final terms with these words.

jon foreman is a hero to me, not to mention he is a freaking genius. i dream of writing even one good song or thought. he has written many. thanks jon.

so i thought i would blog

i've really been struggling with bitterness lately. and i can tell you that is the furthest thing from where i want to be. i want to dwell in the presence of my God. in His presence is fullness of joy and at His right hand are everlasting pleasures.

so enough about that. did i tell anyone the story about us driving home from pride class and out in the smack middle of 290 was this grandma (she had to be at least 65) driving a 80's model sedan with a huge canoe roped to the top of it. she was puttering along in the fastlane with her canoe. i couldn't help but laugh and wonder where she got the canoe. was it really hers, or was she just hauling it for someone else?

this next part is a bit out of David Crowder's Praise Habit which i highly recommend as required reading for anyone.

First I would spot a group of peers. The larger the better. No less than seven. They were required to be in a disorganized clump but close enough in proximity to one another for the unaided human voice to reach each individual.

Once I spotted the proper environment I would then project my voice with a weight of importance, indicating the neccesity of promptness in response. Some phrases that might be used were "Hey, come here." "Everyone. Pay attention. Over here." "Come close." "Closer." "Really, everyone lean in." "Quietly now. Listen." "I have something to say." After I had ensured complete silence and every eye was locked to mine, I would wait. I would look silently from person to person to person with a slightly approving grin. Inevitably, someone's patience would cease and he or she would say, "What?" in a raised, aggresive tone. In response, I would allow the grin to grow, to creep over my face, blooming into full smile. Then I, with utmost timing, would unleash the punchline: "I just wanted to be the center of attention."

i think that God wants to be the center of our attention and in the next part of the book david goes on to say that in Psalm 50 GOD says that He is about to speak. He shouts it, how can we not give Him our complete attention. Yet even amidst His shout, we are too busy and too consumed with the vanities of life to ever let Him be the center of attention. Oh Jesus be the center. be the one thing we live for.

God Bless
chuck